RV Road Trip Romance: My Husband of 41 Years is My New Boyfriend
Remember the thrill of your first dates? The butterflies, the excitement, the sense of discovery? Imagine feeling that same spark with someone you've been married to for over four decades. Sounds impossible? Let me share our story and how my husband of 41 years became my new boyfriend, rekindling our romance through the magic of play.
The Game of Life Revisited
Think back to playing Milton Bradley's Game of Life. Remember spinning the dial and adding a spouse to your little car, embarking on a journey together? In real life, that journey often includes routine, responsibilities, and the gradual fading of that initial spark. But what if you could reignite that spark and rediscover the joy of your early days together?
For Tim and I, it all started with a conscious decision to share the experience of a retirement road trip dream in an RV. In the midst of traveling, we stumbled into a discovery that took a bit of time to see and appreciate. We knew that our interests might not always align as far as sights and sight seeing, but approaching these differences with a spirit of play, kindness, and genuine curiosity transformed ordinary moments into seeds of deeper connection.
Setting the Stage for Play
Imagine setting aside your smartphone and immersing yourself in the activities that bring joy to your partner. This might require a bit of performance—maybe even feigning interest initially. Think of it as a game where you're working to earn a coveted Emmy for best-supporting actor. The importance of this gesture cannot be overstated. Nothing squashes joy as much as a grump who refuses to be present or engage in the things that excite their mate.
Fully engaged and observing one another reveling in their passions perched us on the cusp of something truly magical. Love, rejuvenated in these shared moments, blossoms anew as we set aside our personal preferences to delight in the happiness of the other. Visualize this scenario as the ultimate date where you witness their captivation with the unfiltered joy of a child playing at a passion. Allow their infectious enthusiasm to permeate your being, inviting wonder and delight into your heart without reservation or judgment.
The Surprising Joys of Shared Play
From personal experience, I can attest to the unexpected tingles that come from embracing your partner's playful side. Married since 1982, I thought I knew everything about my husband Tim and that my capacity to enjoy and love him had reached its peak. Yet, seeing him wholly absorbed in his playful pursuits opened new dimensions to our relationship—it was genuinely stirring. This wasn't just a fleeting moment of joy but a powerful reminder of our early days together, evoking feelings akin to déjà vu.
It felt as though we were rediscovering each other, much like in the early days of our relationship when every conversation sparked new curiosities and every shared moment deepened our bond. Engaging in play rekindled that initial spark that drew us together, reigniting a flame that felt both familiar and exhilarating. Suddenly, we weren't just long-term partners; we were those same young lovers, eager and excited to learn more about each other, to explore together, to laugh together.
Daily Moments of Joy
To fan the flames of this renewed romance, I started a daily practice of accounting for the pleasant and beautiful things we saw and experienced together. Each day I take a few moments to reflect on on the things I observed in the day and I love about this man. By doing this, I see again and again the beauty and things that initially drew me to him in our relationship because I see what I focus on and look for. It's like I am training my eyes and heart to notice the magic in everyday life, from the way the morning light hits his smile to the shared laugh over a silly joke.
This practice turns days into a treasure hunt for joy and connection, reminding us of why we fell in love in the first place. It's incredible how much more you see when you're genuinely looking. Evening reflections have become a highlight of my day, reinforcing the bond we share and adding layers of appreciation and affection.
The Transformative Power of Play
Engaging in shared experiences is transformative. It's not just about spending time together; it's about genuinely connecting and rediscovering each other. As Dr. John Gottman, a renowned psychologist specializing in marital stability, suggests, "Shared joy is a double joy; shared sorrow is half a sorrow." This principle seems to hold true when we willingly immerse themselves in activities meaningful to one another. By doing so, they not only demonstrate care and respect for each other's passions but also foster an environment where love can flourish unabated.
I am no therapist but it’s been our experience that choosing to actively participate in each other’s hobbies and passions is much more than a simple act of companionship; it's a powerful expression of love, a way to reignite the passion, and a pathway to discovering new facets of each other's personalities. It is, without doubt, the ultimate date—a journey back to the heart of our relationship, where every laugh and every shared experience adds another layer to your collective story. And it makes traveling in a teeny tiny home together way more fun.
So, are you ready to turn your spouse into your boyfriend or girlfriend again? Embrace the spirit of play, dive into each other's interests, and watch as your relationship transforms into something even more vibrant, more joyful, and more connected. Trust me, you won't want to miss out on this incredible journey together.
