Is There Value in Scary Challenges

There’s nothing quite like change, significant challenges, and the natural fear accompanying them. I’ve been curious if we create and fortify our confidence in those moments of terror.

You know the adage, “The best defense is a good offense?” Well, it seems in life to ring true for more than just sports. Over the past few years, especially recently, I've found it applies to our physical health as well. Maintaining our fitness hasn’t just staved off the inevitable wear and tear of aging; it’s also built resilience to bounce back from life’s unexpected blows. This idea got me thinking—could a defensive strategy also apply to fear?

In my scariest moments, I’ve started pausing and parking everything I fear that could go wrong on a list. But here’s the twist: I also create a counter-list of everything that could go right and then choose to focus on that. How do I know what could go right? I think it might be like fitness—it’s all about practice. Like consistently working on my health and nutrition, I've found a similar approach of routinely taking on and conquering scary challenges works for managing my fear.

Looking back, a few scary things I’ve faced that are perhaps relatable are things like saying yes to a career change in my forties, learning to drive heavy machinery, climbing mountains that are daunting to me, public speaking, writing a book, blogging, trying new things, outrunning storms across the Midwest, competing in powerlifting, dealing with significant health scares, and so on—have all taught me valuable lessons. Though difficult, each challenge showed me how capable and resilient we each are, what can go right, and that failures or setbacks won’t kill me. It also reminded me of my 100% survival rate so far. These experiences have exercised my mind and have perhaps helped me prepare to handle whatever life throws my way.

Even when fear tempts me to quit, I discovered that holding on a little longer, focusing on what can go right, and pushing myself through these uncertain challenges is crucial for building courage, confidence, and mental and emotional resilience. It seems as essential as physical exercise and eating my vegetables.

I’m no medical expert, just an observer sharing my journey. I share this not to preach but to remind myself to keep embracing difficult, confidence-building challenges.

From Michael Easter’s book, The Comfort Crisis, I’ve adopted two rules for tackling tough endeavors: ‘they must be really f’ing hard, and they can’t kill me.’ So here’s to living bravely, embracing challenges that stretch, thrill, and build our confidence. Cheers to adventures that are gratifying, make for great stories and more resilience.

I’d love to hear about your own experiences with scary challenges, facing fear, and building resilience. What challenges have you had, created, and overcome that boosted your confidence? Do those experiences help you deal with other scary anxious moments in your life? Share your stories and insights in the comments below – let’s inspire and support each other!